Value the present, improvise the past and fight the future

10.28AM 19 December 2010 :

       Aloha guys!! How are you been doing? =D.. I can see that some friend of mine is afraid of engaged into relationship. Like a male friend of mine, he is afraid of confessing his love anymore to the one he liked after having many rejections emotionally and physically in the past. There are also certain cases like mine, got 'severely' hurt in the past, whom are also afraid of engaging a new relationship, because we knew we're kind of incapable. Maybe we're too clingy to the past, and afraid to face the future. I admit it I used to be clingy to the past. Always hoping my last relationship will ever come back to me, but now finally I've moved on. I tried the very best of mine to stand on my feet again last time. And I can say that this is successful. Even though the past 2 days I saw my ex. Well, that was rather very surprising. When i saw her, most of the thing hit me back, the lost love. As in I've been injected some special medicine, whom made once again I very nervous and feeling my knees is going to the ground, strength-less. I immediately 'evacuate' myself from that particular place, but the 'poison' is already inflicted into my body, no matter how far I run away from her.

        I struggles as I walk, breath and stand. By that time, I KEEP convincing that it's already over, live on K.A! And when I was on the way home, my tears came out by it's own, only one drop each from my eye. Maybe that was the last drop of tears I would cry for her. And I'll start to move on my life. I shall not cling to my past. So do you need to do. Nobody wants to cling on their past. No matter what brings us to the future, I believe i will work my hardest to overcome it. Once again, I felt intense heartache after knowing that she is sad. Not because of the lost love. Last time occasionally at night i would cry for her, my ex, my lost love(i know this sounds STUPID but this is what i did). But recently past few months that this 'routine' is getting lesser and lesser. I know one day that this would gonna stop eventually. That i'll stop to cling on her. Stop to hope that she will be around my arms again. I really MISS this intense heartache even though it DOES pain. Welcome back this feeling, I've been waiting you for so long. And now you're back. Really, Welcome back , mysterious feeling.

        Maybe this was too sudden, but right now I've no interests to anyone anymore for another long period of time,as I shall lay no interests in other girl for a long time. I used to like this girl for years last time since i was form 2, but I really don't know i DID have special affection towards her, not until she gets a boyfriend. That time, I could feel something missing. An opportunity. An indirect opportunity she gave me. I've wasted the golden chance. But now I've found another one, a new replacement for both of them. a brand new breath. A new life. New hope. New aim. Even though now you're just like me, clingy to the past, but I shall wait till the days that a new bud is born. And the old one is gone. I hope the flower will born. I shall nurture it, regardless how long I need to care for it, till it blooms. Maybe now   have mixed feeling, but I'll hold on till these two things are separated, and one shall live, the another dies.

Quotes : Value the present, improvise the past and fight the future